The 1st Noel Regiment is Back on Parade

“It’s Chriiiiiiiiisssssttttmaaasssssssss!”

Noddy Holder

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It’s that time again. Once a year, here at Suburban Militarism, two regiments from my Army of Advent are selected to stand duty as Christmas decorations during the month of December. It’s a prestigious obligation, much like being the chosen battalion for the annual Trooping of the Colour ceremony.

My tradition started back in 2013, pre-dating this blog, beginning with the raising of the first Christmas-themed infantry; a platoon of the 1st Noel Regiment of Foot. My daughter, then in primary school, kindly designed their standard which was eventually bestowed on them with full ceremony and which they carry to this day.

Ensign Crimbo of the 1st Noel Regiment parades the Colour before the men.

Since them, the Army of Advent has expanded to include infantry and cavalry brigades, artillery, and a General Staff, with a ‘pioneer and sapper corps’ planned. In future years, God willing, once all the regiments have been raised, the plan is to continue to add a handful of men to regiments as a Christmas craft tradition. A selection of each, hand-picked ‘best men’, will be selected for the prestige of representing the regiment on the plinth.

The honour of taking this December-long parade has so far fallen to the following regiments:

Year	1st Regiment	2nd Regiment
2013	The 1st Noel Regiment of Foot	n/a
2014	The 1st Noel Regiment of Foot	n/a
2015	The Yule Grenadiers	n/a
2016	The 1st Noel Regiment of Foot	n/a
2017	The Christingle Dragoons	The Carolling Hussars
2018	The Carolling Hussars	Cracker Battery, Christmas Artillery
2019	The Midwinter Fuzileers	The Mistletoe Guards
2020	The Yule Grenadiers	The Eggnog Cuirassiers
2021	The 1st Noel Regiment of Foot	The Poinsettian Rifles

N.B. Prior to 2016, only one regiment was paraded.

As you can see, this year it is the turn of a company of selected men of the 1st Noel Regiment and a section of the newly-raised Poinsettian Rifles. The Poinsettian Rifles were established earlier this year using metal 1/72 scale figures from Hagen Miniatures. It’s been five years since The First Noel paraded. I thought that, as pleasant as the old figures are, I wanted the venerable 1st Noel to parade in a fashion that looked rather less like being in combat. So I’ve painted some new figures.

The old figures were Revell’s Austrian infantry of the 7 Years War:

The new figures are by HaT and are from their set of Seven Years War Austrians Marching. I’ve been spending odd occasions over the whole of 2021 adding paint to them and have finally got them Parade Ready in time for December. Only just this week, the men of the 1st Noel finally received their festive plumes (pieces of actual tinsel cut to size and glued on to their tricornes).

In a decadent move, the 1st Noel have also changed their hat lace from white to gold. They are based in ‘deep and crisp and even’ snow with a ring of red glitter around their penny bases, to add to their seasonal glamour.

So, on the 1st December, in a formal ceremony, a representative of both the Yule Grenadiers and the Eggnog Cuirassiers (last year’s display regiments), symbolically extended a Christmas cracker to the respective junior subalterns of the Poinsettian Rifles and the 1st Noel. This was all done in a highly ritualised manner, strictly to the beat of the drum, until the cracker was pulled and the subsequent ‘bang’ thereby inaugurated the 2021 Christmas duties. This solemn event is known as the ‘Trooping of the Cracker’. The intoning of the cracker’s enclosed joke by the subalterns is a particularly sombre and moving ritual.

Now, despite all these careful preparations, there are some problems. Firstly, tradition has it that the chosen regiments should stand guard on the mantelpiece over the season. Having moved house earlier this year, I now have no mantelpiece to place them on. I do, however, have a TV cabinet. With the television mounted on the wall, I am free to use this cabinet and so these Christmas dandies can take centre-stage in the lounge once more.

My other problem relates to command. Essentially, neither the Poinsettian Rifles nor the 1st Noel have any! Major Poinsettia of his eponymous rifles is, as yet, only a name on the payroll and not an actual, painted figure. With a ‘can-do attitude’ which is a feature of his regiment, Lieutenant Sylant-Knight of the 1st Noel Regiment has taken command of the Rifles in the interim, being rewarded with a brevet rank of Captain.

Lieutenant and Brevet Captain Sylant-Knight of the 1st Noel with men of the Poinsettian Rifles.

Brevet Captain Sylant-Knight’s regiment, however, is in turmoil. The 1st Noel are missing its overall commander – Colonel de Winter!

The currently missing-in-action Colonel de Winter seen here riding his trusty steed Tinsel through the streets of the town of Advent.

Colonel de Winter has led the regiment with distinction since 2013 but, during the recent house move, has gone AWOL. Now, I admit that I do have a history of losing individual figures. Colonel Giftrapp of the Yule Grenadiers, for example, went missing for a number of years and only surfaced to retake command of his regiment last year!

Colonel Giftrapp returns, finally reunited with his similarly errant Arabian stallion, Pandoro.

So until such time that Colonel de Winter returns from his sabbatical, Major-General Minns-Pye (hitherto serving as C-in-C General St. Nicholas‘ Chief of Staff) has kindly agreed to take command of his old regiment during this year’s tour of duty.

With another three weeks to go until Christmas, both regiments have plenty of time to enjoy their moment of glory…

The Mistletoe Guards

Having showcased my Midwinter Fusiliers last week, I’m now in a position to share the other regiment which is also due to take its place as part of this year’s household Christmas decorations. Introducing the newly raised Mistletoe Guards!

The figures are 1.72 scale from Zvezda’s Prussian Grenadiers of Frederick II set. There are only three of these figures in each set but I got lucky in finding a seller on eBay who had clearly bought a number of boxes but had no use for the standing or marching poses. For soldiers intended to simply stand to attention over the fireplace during December, they were perfect.

The Mistletoe Guards’ uniform is closley based on another regiment I’ve long-since admired. The Grand Duchy of Stollen blog has a beautifully painted regiment known as the Leib (Grand Duchess Sonja’s Own) Grenadiers. I’ve long been an admirer of this fabulous and venerable blog and this particular regiment’s brightly coloured uniform always impressed greatly.

The Leib Grenadiers

The Mistletoe Guards

So, in humble tribute to that wonderful Stollenian regiment, my festive Mistletoe Guards have been carefully painted to mimic their B Company (with yellow pompoms).

As usual for the Christmas Corps, the Guards are deep in snow (courtesy Woodlands Scenics) and the pennies upon which they are based have bright blue glitter around the edges for added seasonal decoration. I was planning on adding a little mistletoe to their grenadier caps but thought that would only cause untold havoc in the ranks should any ladies visit during the festive period.

As with all the regiments in my Christmas project, my daughter Eleanor has designed a fabulous regimental standard. It features mistletoe on a pale green base, the name of the regiment underneath, and is all edged with light blue and red. The figure of the ensign is from HaT’s Prussian Seven Years War Infantry Command range.

The mounted officer is also from HaT’s Prussian Command set, the Midwinter Fusiliers’ mounted colonel being from their Austrian box. The officer, a gentleman altogether more reliable than the rest of his command, has a sprig of misteltoe in his tricorne hat. Colonel Hoarfrost of the Midwinter Fusiliers was mounted on a horse I named ‘Blitzen’. I think the Mistletoe Guards’ officer (Major Frankincense), rides a fine, forward-going, dun stallion of Italian pedigree known as “Panettone”. The Frankincenses are a well-connected military family in Advent, the Major’s elder brother is a Lieutenant-Colonel in the Nativity Corps of Pioneers and Sappers as well as an aide-de-camp to the commander in chief, General St. Nicholas.

Finally, there is an NCO of the guard keeping the ranks in order with a large spontoon.

So my newly raised regiments are intensively drilling for their decorative role on the fireplace. As soon as the Christmas decs are up, I’ll post them in situ on their specially made and labelled plinths.

Scarecrows Assemble! Queen Vicstrawia and her Grainadier

Queen Vic-straw-ia and her Grainadier Guard, my family’s submission to a local village scarecrow-making competition is complete and ready for the crowds of people that visited the displays last year. My wife and daughter created Her Majesty (a very fine job indeed, I’m sure you’ll agree) and I made the guardsman (naturally enough).

In my last post I had finished making the head out of papier mache. Next, I stuffed his uniform with straw and stuck his head to a cardboard tube.

For a belt, I’ve stuck some white paper on to one of my old belts. I notice that the buttons on my uniform are grouped in threes which therefore makes it a Scots Guard! No plume is worn by that regiment, just a bearskin, so that made it easier for me.

That bearskin won’t pass parade at that rakish angle! I need to attend to that before the big day.

For the rifle, I’ve borrowed some (toy) military hardware from the young son of a friend – on the understanding that it is returned to him in the same condition. So, as some temporary modifications I’ve used some brown paper to cover what was a bright green plastic stock. I’m intending to make it less like a lime-green Space Marine’s assault rifle and a tiny bit more like a .303 Lee-Metford or Short Magazine Lee Enfield. The orange end of the barrel seen in the photos above I’ve since covered in black tape.

Straw ankles in tights and beach shoes? The Sergeant-Major will have your guts for garters, laddie!

The hands were a late addition. I was hoping for skin coloured marigolds or maybe white gloves but they’ll have to do. A couple of sturdy wooden poles up the legs and hammered into the ground will, I’m hoping, keep the whole thing upright and standing to attention!

My daughter and I with our handiwork.

Wait a minute – what’s this just around the corner from our pitch…?

Goddammit! Another one! And we’re gonna need a bigger bearskin! I’m seeing four buttons on the tunic and yet there’s no blue plume? Pah! Clearly these amateurs don’t know the Irish Guards uniform very well… 😉

As a final flourish, I’m planning to play “Soldiers of the Queen” on repeat from my military band music collection. Hopefully, Queen Vicstrawia and the Guardsman might even attract a few votes from the visitors to the competition? Wish us luck!

And I thought the sun never set on Victoria’s empire?

Queen ‘Vicstrawia’ and her ‘Grainadier’ Guard

My in-laws live in a village which holds a scarecrow competition each year. This year the girls and I thought we’d help out and make our own for them. For those unfamiliar with this kind of competition – see this example. Bad puns for the scarecrows are a feature of this kind of festival. The theme for the scarecrow contest this year was “Best of British”.

We elected to help out the in-laws and create this year’s scarecrows. My wife and daughter thought they might create Queen Vicstrawia in her iconic seated pose from late in her reign. I immediately suggested she needed a military escort, her very own Grainadier Guard!

Luckily, I managed to pick up a child’s Guardsman costume for only £5. Dating from the 1960s, it’s in perfect condition and is fabulously well made using quality materials (no plastic buttons here – metal only).

There’s some nice detailing on the back too…

First off, I needed to make a head. So a bit of papier-mâché, using a balloon as a template, I hoped would do the trick. Not done this before and my first attempt was a bit of a let down – literally! The balloon had a slow puncture and gradually went down leaving the head ended up all shrunken and wrinkled…

My second attempt came good. Getting into my papier-mâché stride, I added a rudimentary nose, brows and ears…

I slapped on a little poster paint and then started to think about hair. A trip into town to the charity shops allows me to track down some cheap, black felt material from a rags bin. I also find a thin, feathery, black boa which will do for facial hair. Et voila, we have a guardsman’s face!

I see my scaling for the head has – ah – somewhat overestimated the much smaller bearskin! Never mind, I’m pleased with it and ‘comical’ is what I’m after. But now I’ve got to somehow attach that head to the body… but before that I’ve also got to create and stuff the arms and legs… and then the whole thing will need to magically stand to attention!

This scarecrow building is harder than I thought it would be. Wish me luck!